Lead Me Gently Home

If you’ve been following this blog very long then you know I went through a pretty rough year a while back mainly due to loss. Grief affects everyone differently but it affects us all in some way. It’s almost like I’ve relapsed in my grieving. It was so hard for a while. Then I accepted it. Then I reached a point where I could smile and laugh while telling memories about my loved ones. But maybe watching a few others that I love dearly experience tragic losses recently just has me back in my feelings about it all. I’m not sure. What I am sure of is that it really hurts to lose someone. It really hurts to watch others you love unfairly lose someone. 

As a Christian I believe that those who die in Christ have heaven to look forward to. I can read passages that describe what heaven will be like and can understand why I am to long to be there. I see the illustrations of Jesus embracing the loved one and “welcoming” them to heaven and I know what I am supposed to feel when I see those images. But as a human missing their loved one, I can admit that I haven’t made it there emotionally yet. Feelings are valid but can’t always be relied on and should not be the driving force in our lives. Logic is absolutely necessary in so many areas of our life but to operate only with logic and reason negates the human experience. It’s been a hard task to balance knowing what I am supposed to think based on my beliefs and having my emotions fall in line. Until I read something today. 

I’ve been reading Jeremiah. Leading up to this book, God has been giving the people warnings about the state of their heart and their sin and telling people what to do differently or suffer the very clear consequences He has laid out for them and the book of Jeremiah documents the point at which his patience runs out.  God sends him to tell the people He’s done. The jig is up. His patience for His people has been maxed out. And now the brutal consequences (essentially what life looks like when God turns his back on you) are here for them. He’s going to send them into captivity. They will suffer and toil and mourn. It’s scary. And it’s powerful. But in chapter 30 the script changes. I’ll be honest. The Bible language and not knowing all the context confuses me sometimes so I don’t know if the captivity is over at this point or if he’s telling them this is how it will end, but he says He heard the sorrows and repentance of His people and how they long for Him. He cannot let their sins go unpunished and He will discipline them, but justly. And He will save them. Chapters 30 and 31 go on to describe a very beautiful reunification of the Lord and His people. Chapter 31: 9 (NIV) says, “Tears of joy will stream down their faces, and I will lead them home with great care.” 

I’m not a Bible scholar and I haven’t done extensive research on context. This scripture is prophecy, meaning God is using Jeremiah to tell the people of that time what they would experience. I don’t want to add to the word but I also couldn’t help reading it now and invisioning our passage to heaven.  I think we (I. I won’t drag you into having the same thoughts as me) focus on the tears of joy. The beautiful Etsy illustrations show that moment. And as a Christian I am not at all trying to knock that or disagree with that thought. I’ve never expressly had this thought during my grieving years but it’s almost as if when I read that passage it came to light that subconsciously I have been viewing the entrance to heaven as a party and everyone is super happy and all the cares of the world are gone. And this is true. But in my crazy subconscious view of it from the perspective of the grieving left on earth there is no compassion there. Jesus is hugging his child and the attitude is very much like too bad for you down there, loser! Before I go further you MUST know that attitude is not expressed or condoned anywhere biblically. But hurting emotional people view things differently. For some reason those words, “and I will lead them gently home” are helping me connect the logic and emotion in a way the artsy images of an embrace never have. There is a safety in those words that brings joy. There is a peace in those words that brings joy. There are images in those scriptures that surround dancing and triumph over sorrow, certainly. But there is also a recognition of the delicacy and emotion that death brings to the human mind and the gentleness and care of welcoming someone’s sole to the spiritual realm. A marriage seminar I attended at our church recently pointed out that we are stewards of our husbands and wives and children. God has given theme to us to help us along the way and we are to steward them so that one day we can place their hands in His hand. Something about the use of the word steward really brought to light or maybe opened my eyes to a deeper meaning than I’ve previously thought of in the context of marriage. And that thought coupled with this passage gives me a much different image. In my imagination- instead of this joyous celebration that forgets everyone left suffering, I see an earthly hand placed in the hand of a gentle father. An arm wrapped around their back as He leads them down a peaceful path. And a look back at those of us left behind with a nod that says, “I will take them from here. You don’t need to worry anymore. Your loved one is in the best of hands They love you. They miss you. And we look forward to welcoming you together in the same way

when it’s time.” There is a comfort to me as one left on this earth that they have taken the hand of their father.

It says more about me than anyone else that those Etsy prints never quite did it for me or that “they are in a better place” didn’t really sit well for a long time. This blog is essentially sharing my journey of spiritual and mental growth. So many of my readers are much further in that growth than I am. Maybe they are even just now realizing how far behind I am! (Or how crazy I am!). But every time I think of quitting or that something isn’t worth sharing someone reaches out in appreciation. So, maybe this is the one you will appreciate. And maybe not. All I know is it is what I needed at the time and while we are all different, in some ways we are the same like sharing in the human experience.